I'm wrestling with things, which doesn't surprise me as this always seems to happen when I cross a country's borders. As soon as I leave a tight-knit community that is consistently nurturing my faith, and growing along with me, I find that I struggle a little bit with my beliefs. Perhaps this is inevitable whenever I encounter new perspectives and cultures and stray away from the comfort of home. It's always good to keep my heart and mind open to other opinions.
However, what struck me in the last few days (in which I have been resisting my belief in Christ more than I would have expected), is that no matter where I am, I cannot change WHO I am. And part of who I am -- ALL of who I am -- is tied to who I am in Christ.
Just because my beliefs may falter periodically, or I go through seasons of questioning (which are totally healthy and welcomed by God, by the way) doesn't change the fact that I am in love. I am in love with a God who became human in order to save me from myself and be with me forever.
I'm in love. And the God I'm in love with has everything to do with who I am. So while I'm wrestling, I recall a line of a song I wrote for a friend earlier this summer:
"Remember who you are, no matter where you are
The God who holds the stars holds us, too"
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Be Still.
"Then Jesus got up and said to the wind and the waves "Be still," and they were immediately calm." ~ Matthew 8:26
Never has the Lord spoken those two words into my life more than in these past summer months. And in trying to be still, I have been getting one of the most grueling workouts of my life.
My "being still" and "waiting" muscles are by far the least used in my spiritual "body". In comparison, my "doing" muscles are disproportionately HUGE. When a trial arises in my life, my first instinct is to fix the issue as quickly as possible. Waiting is rarely an option in my mind, until it comes to my attention as a last resort for salvaging a situation.
But what I've realized recently is that I can't do everything. I can't fix issues that are beyond my capabilities to fix. Often the Lord calls us to trust in Him, instead of act on His behalf. He doesn't need me to play God. He needs me to accept my role as the vessel through which His Spirit moves -- I am the vessel, not the Spirit itself.
"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act." ~ Psalm 37:7
Ah yes. That key word "patiently". I find that the longer I wait for something to be fixed, the more anxious I feel, and as time goes on I begin scrambling for a sign from heaven that I can finally do my part and jump into the fixing process.
I don't do that with practical things in my life... If my laptop is broken, I leave it with the experts at Best Buy, and wait patiently for them to do what they have been trained to do. I trust that they are capable and that everything will be fine. Until then, I rest, realizing that there is nothing I can do to urge the process along. My calling incessantly would only delay the process. So I sit back and relax until the work is completed and my laptop is returned to me restored.
Can I not trust the Lord to fix the difficult situations in my life? God is complete in wisdom and understanding (Proverbs 2:6), His ways are above my ways and His thoughts above my thoughts (Isaiah 55), He understands every part of me (Psalm 139)... everything I need before I ask for it (Isaiah 65:24).
The Lord is good, and His mercies endure forever.
The above phrase has been on my heart for the past ten days, reminding me that although I stand in the middle of many storms, the Lord can and will calm them, at just the right time. His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are not my thoughts. I may not understand, but I can trust that He is capable to calm the storm, that all is for His glory, and that everything He does, He does out of love for me.
"Be still, and know that I am God!" ~ Psalm 46:10
Translation: "Get out of My way, Ame! Let Me fix this as only I know how! Trust Me, and rest in Me. I am your God. I alone am God. And I am FOR you, not against you. I am FOR you, and not against you. Be still, and know that I am God!"
Jesus got up and said to the wind and the waves "Be still," and my spirit was immediately calm.
Never has the Lord spoken those two words into my life more than in these past summer months. And in trying to be still, I have been getting one of the most grueling workouts of my life.
My "being still" and "waiting" muscles are by far the least used in my spiritual "body". In comparison, my "doing" muscles are disproportionately HUGE. When a trial arises in my life, my first instinct is to fix the issue as quickly as possible. Waiting is rarely an option in my mind, until it comes to my attention as a last resort for salvaging a situation.
But what I've realized recently is that I can't do everything. I can't fix issues that are beyond my capabilities to fix. Often the Lord calls us to trust in Him, instead of act on His behalf. He doesn't need me to play God. He needs me to accept my role as the vessel through which His Spirit moves -- I am the vessel, not the Spirit itself.
"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act." ~ Psalm 37:7
Ah yes. That key word "patiently". I find that the longer I wait for something to be fixed, the more anxious I feel, and as time goes on I begin scrambling for a sign from heaven that I can finally do my part and jump into the fixing process.
I don't do that with practical things in my life... If my laptop is broken, I leave it with the experts at Best Buy, and wait patiently for them to do what they have been trained to do. I trust that they are capable and that everything will be fine. Until then, I rest, realizing that there is nothing I can do to urge the process along. My calling incessantly would only delay the process. So I sit back and relax until the work is completed and my laptop is returned to me restored.
Can I not trust the Lord to fix the difficult situations in my life? God is complete in wisdom and understanding (Proverbs 2:6), His ways are above my ways and His thoughts above my thoughts (Isaiah 55), He understands every part of me (Psalm 139)... everything I need before I ask for it (Isaiah 65:24).
The Lord is good, and His mercies endure forever.
The above phrase has been on my heart for the past ten days, reminding me that although I stand in the middle of many storms, the Lord can and will calm them, at just the right time. His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are not my thoughts. I may not understand, but I can trust that He is capable to calm the storm, that all is for His glory, and that everything He does, He does out of love for me.
"Be still, and know that I am God!" ~ Psalm 46:10
Translation: "Get out of My way, Ame! Let Me fix this as only I know how! Trust Me, and rest in Me. I am your God. I alone am God. And I am FOR you, not against you. I am FOR you, and not against you. Be still, and know that I am God!"
Jesus got up and said to the wind and the waves "Be still," and my spirit was immediately calm.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Focus
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." ~ Hebrews 12:2
Focus.
What a fascinating concept...
Focus has been a part of my daily life from the moment I understood the notion of responsibility and that I couldn't get anywhere in life if I kept turning my head from left to right, ignoring the path straight ahead.
What I have come to realize, however, is that I have neglected to exercise focus in my walk with the Lord, and that this is ESSENTIAL for my heart to find rest.
Instead of focusing on the Lord -- the way He sees the situations in my life, what He desires for me -- I have been focusing on how other people see me, and what I want for my own life.
My lack of focus on God has resulted in an influx of worry, unrest, frustration, anger, and hopelessness.
I have been turning my head from left to right, like a restless horse trying to shake the rider's grip off the reins.
And what have I gained from struggling, acting solely on the tiny particle of my life that is visible before me? How have I benefited from fighting against God's greater plans for me?
The path is straight and narrow, and I do not walk through the dark valley alone (Psalm 23:4). When the shadows of uncertainty in the valley lengthen, I can be assured that there is the Light of truth guiding me home (Psalm 43:3). And Home (with a capital "H") is exactly where I need to set my gaze. (Hebrews 11:13-15, Philippians 3:20-21)
God's primary concern is not my comfort, my happiness, or all of my petty dreams coming true. His desire first and foremost is that I am drawn to His heart and that I am set securely in His arms. No matter what befalls me on this earth, THAT is my reward. THAT is my goal. THAT is what is best for me, and THAT ALONE shall be my focus.
This is not to say that Jesus doesn't care about our struggles in life. The Bible says that God "keeps track of all our sorrows" and has "collected every tear in His bottle" (Psalm 56:8). God is love, and He loves us more completely and unfailingly than we could ever imagine.
It is in times of trial that we must turn our focus Home, to trust in God's love and believe that "God works for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28), . And we must realize that this "good" may be defined differently by God than it is by us. God's definition of good is increased righteousness -- "a broken and contrite heart" (Psalm 51). Therefore, even when we cannot see the end result of the trials we endure, we can be comforted that we are being drawn ever closer to God's heart, and are learning to focus ever more clearly on the perfection of His redeeming love.
Everything else is fading away
Only Love
Only Love remains
"Stay with God!
Take heart. Don't quit.
I'll say it again:
Stay with God." ~ Psalm 27:13-14 (MSG)
Focus.
What a fascinating concept...
Focus has been a part of my daily life from the moment I understood the notion of responsibility and that I couldn't get anywhere in life if I kept turning my head from left to right, ignoring the path straight ahead.
What I have come to realize, however, is that I have neglected to exercise focus in my walk with the Lord, and that this is ESSENTIAL for my heart to find rest.
Instead of focusing on the Lord -- the way He sees the situations in my life, what He desires for me -- I have been focusing on how other people see me, and what I want for my own life.
My lack of focus on God has resulted in an influx of worry, unrest, frustration, anger, and hopelessness.
I have been turning my head from left to right, like a restless horse trying to shake the rider's grip off the reins.
And what have I gained from struggling, acting solely on the tiny particle of my life that is visible before me? How have I benefited from fighting against God's greater plans for me?
The path is straight and narrow, and I do not walk through the dark valley alone (Psalm 23:4). When the shadows of uncertainty in the valley lengthen, I can be assured that there is the Light of truth guiding me home (Psalm 43:3). And Home (with a capital "H") is exactly where I need to set my gaze. (Hebrews 11:13-15, Philippians 3:20-21)
God's primary concern is not my comfort, my happiness, or all of my petty dreams coming true. His desire first and foremost is that I am drawn to His heart and that I am set securely in His arms. No matter what befalls me on this earth, THAT is my reward. THAT is my goal. THAT is what is best for me, and THAT ALONE shall be my focus.
This is not to say that Jesus doesn't care about our struggles in life. The Bible says that God "keeps track of all our sorrows" and has "collected every tear in His bottle" (Psalm 56:8). God is love, and He loves us more completely and unfailingly than we could ever imagine.
It is in times of trial that we must turn our focus Home, to trust in God's love and believe that "God works for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28), . And we must realize that this "good" may be defined differently by God than it is by us. God's definition of good is increased righteousness -- "a broken and contrite heart" (Psalm 51). Therefore, even when we cannot see the end result of the trials we endure, we can be comforted that we are being drawn ever closer to God's heart, and are learning to focus ever more clearly on the perfection of His redeeming love.
Everything else is fading away
Only Love
Only Love remains
"Stay with God!
Take heart. Don't quit.
I'll say it again:
Stay with God." ~ Psalm 27:13-14 (MSG)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Growing Pains
“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green and they never stop producing fruit.” ~Jeremiah 17:7-8
Growing pains. We all experience them – whether they are contained to our physical bodies after an intense workout or are part of our emotional and spiritual journeys.
I remember when I was a young girl, crying in my bed, unable to sleep because my bones were aching as they slowly and painfully stretched into their finished length in my adolescence. I couldn’t detect what was happening, why my body was aching and restraining me from getting any rest. It was in those moments that I called out to my mother, who came quickly with Tylenol, water, and a listening ear. She had been through the growing pains, and had full confidence (not to mention scientific evidence) that all would be as it should be in a few short years. Now at my full height, I really haven’t looked back on these growing pains until this moment. Instead, I walk as a woman fully grown, confident in my height and able to enjoy the benefits of the pain without specifically recalling the painful moments to memory.
As an adult, the growing pains I feel are quite different. These are the growing pains of the soul. They don’t go away with Tylenol, water, and a mother’s touch. They take much longer to complete themselves, and often return when more growth is necessary in a certain area of my heart.
And unlike the growing pains I felt as a child, these are pains that I must consciously choose to endure in order to reap the rewards of the growth. I can choose to stunt my growth by not listening to the call to something higher, or I can choose to walk by faith, endure the struggles, and persevere to a new and more glorious level of my soul.
However, this is a choice that I make on a daily basis when I choose to put God first and accept His will as the absolute best plan for me. While I may be led through deserts, up mountain slopes, and across raging rivers of distrust, doubt, and past hurt, I never walk alone. I am being led by the most caring Shepherd who will never leave my side. He knows where He leads me. He understands my heart for He created me, and He knows the junk that has accumulated over the years – things that will only keep me from going deeper in my relationships with others and with Him if ignored.
In these growing pains there may be fear of the unknown and many tears as the pain and weariness creep ever steadily into my heart, but there is a stronger promise of a more complete self – a soul that walks more perfectly in step with the Father, and a heart that reflects the desires of the Father’s heart. What could be more rewarding that such nearness to God?
I trust that in the times when I may not see immediate benefits of the growing pains, God is working in my heart in ways that I cannot see. For I know that no time is wasted when walking with God. God doesn’t waste time. He uses every minute, every circumstance, to produce a more perfect and holy Bride.
So let us persevere, and run the race marked out for us (Hebrews 12:1). Let us trust in the One who created us and gave Himself for us. We have nothing to lose and the most wonderful of things to gain – an inseparable closeness to the heart of the living God.
Growing pains. We all experience them – whether they are contained to our physical bodies after an intense workout or are part of our emotional and spiritual journeys.
I remember when I was a young girl, crying in my bed, unable to sleep because my bones were aching as they slowly and painfully stretched into their finished length in my adolescence. I couldn’t detect what was happening, why my body was aching and restraining me from getting any rest. It was in those moments that I called out to my mother, who came quickly with Tylenol, water, and a listening ear. She had been through the growing pains, and had full confidence (not to mention scientific evidence) that all would be as it should be in a few short years. Now at my full height, I really haven’t looked back on these growing pains until this moment. Instead, I walk as a woman fully grown, confident in my height and able to enjoy the benefits of the pain without specifically recalling the painful moments to memory.
As an adult, the growing pains I feel are quite different. These are the growing pains of the soul. They don’t go away with Tylenol, water, and a mother’s touch. They take much longer to complete themselves, and often return when more growth is necessary in a certain area of my heart.
And unlike the growing pains I felt as a child, these are pains that I must consciously choose to endure in order to reap the rewards of the growth. I can choose to stunt my growth by not listening to the call to something higher, or I can choose to walk by faith, endure the struggles, and persevere to a new and more glorious level of my soul.
However, this is a choice that I make on a daily basis when I choose to put God first and accept His will as the absolute best plan for me. While I may be led through deserts, up mountain slopes, and across raging rivers of distrust, doubt, and past hurt, I never walk alone. I am being led by the most caring Shepherd who will never leave my side. He knows where He leads me. He understands my heart for He created me, and He knows the junk that has accumulated over the years – things that will only keep me from going deeper in my relationships with others and with Him if ignored.
In these growing pains there may be fear of the unknown and many tears as the pain and weariness creep ever steadily into my heart, but there is a stronger promise of a more complete self – a soul that walks more perfectly in step with the Father, and a heart that reflects the desires of the Father’s heart. What could be more rewarding that such nearness to God?
I trust that in the times when I may not see immediate benefits of the growing pains, God is working in my heart in ways that I cannot see. For I know that no time is wasted when walking with God. God doesn’t waste time. He uses every minute, every circumstance, to produce a more perfect and holy Bride.
So let us persevere, and run the race marked out for us (Hebrews 12:1). Let us trust in the One who created us and gave Himself for us. We have nothing to lose and the most wonderful of things to gain – an inseparable closeness to the heart of the living God.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Battles Lost, Victory Won
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
~ Desert Song by Hillsong
I'm sitting here feeling completely defeated in some of the battles of life I have been engaged in for some time now. I have donned my best armor, fought with my best sword, and battled self as faithfully as I have been able -- all to no seen avail.
However, as defeated as I feel, I know that while these battles may not be reaping tangible rewards for me now, the war that has been waged on my heart is nearer and nearer its aforeseen victory.
I may be discouraged now, in the face of loss and the taunting of the unknown, but what I am beginning to see is the fruit of this labor and God's grace in my own heart. These battles may seem painfully lost, but the trust I have had to place on the Lord in these times have harvested irreplaceable gifts of humility and surrender that I never would have received had I chosen not to enter into battle.
The battle may seem lost, but there is the promise and reassurance of everlasting victory through Jesus Christ our Savior.
"Why am I discouraged?
Why is my soul so sad?
I will put my hope in God.
I will praise Him again,
my Savior and my God!"
~Psalm 43:5
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
~ Desert Song by Hillsong
I'm sitting here feeling completely defeated in some of the battles of life I have been engaged in for some time now. I have donned my best armor, fought with my best sword, and battled self as faithfully as I have been able -- all to no seen avail.
However, as defeated as I feel, I know that while these battles may not be reaping tangible rewards for me now, the war that has been waged on my heart is nearer and nearer its aforeseen victory.
I may be discouraged now, in the face of loss and the taunting of the unknown, but what I am beginning to see is the fruit of this labor and God's grace in my own heart. These battles may seem painfully lost, but the trust I have had to place on the Lord in these times have harvested irreplaceable gifts of humility and surrender that I never would have received had I chosen not to enter into battle.
The battle may seem lost, but there is the promise and reassurance of everlasting victory through Jesus Christ our Savior.
"Why am I discouraged?
Why is my soul so sad?
I will put my hope in God.
I will praise Him again,
my Savior and my God!"
~Psalm 43:5
Sunday, July 25, 2010
In Every Season
Let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” ~ Galatians 6:9 NLV
Minnesota has seen a bit of a rainy season this summer, something I certainly wasn’t expecting or hoping for when I came home from Iowa for my three month vacation. But I must say, the abundance of rain has set me thinking about the rainy seasons in my own life.
We all experience rainy seasons, dry seasons, and fruitful seasons. Sometimes these seasons cycle through in a predictable pattern, but mostly the change in seasons catches us off-guard. It is in these changes of seasons that we come to rely on the Lord instead of our own understanding of our circumstances (Proverbs 3:5).
For the past few months I have been weathering a rain shower in my life. Some days feel like a refreshing sunshower, but others are more akin to the thunderstorms Minnesota has been plagued with recently. It is in this time that I have learned to not resist the rain and to trust the Lord in His use of every minute of it.
After all rain is essential for growth in this world. It is no different for our hearts. These rainy seasons are times we draw close to the Father for shelter, wearily bringing all our pain and struggles to Him, completely relying on Him to lead us through. As trust builds and strength is steadily restored God often gives us the grace to see the benefits of the rain – the harvest to be reaped at just the right time. It is then we can dance in the rain, rejoicing in our God-monitored growth and the promise of “a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Have faith, dear one, for there is always a purpose in the rainy season. There is always the promise of a rainbow to follow the storm. There is always the presence of the Companion who will “never leave us or forsake us” (Hebrews 13:5). Let us open our hearts to receive whatever the Lord has for us in every season. Let us trust today that He has the absolute best for us and that all is for His glory.
“All of my life, in every season, You are still God. I have a reason to sing.” ~“Desert Song” by Hillsong
Minnesota has seen a bit of a rainy season this summer, something I certainly wasn’t expecting or hoping for when I came home from Iowa for my three month vacation. But I must say, the abundance of rain has set me thinking about the rainy seasons in my own life.
We all experience rainy seasons, dry seasons, and fruitful seasons. Sometimes these seasons cycle through in a predictable pattern, but mostly the change in seasons catches us off-guard. It is in these changes of seasons that we come to rely on the Lord instead of our own understanding of our circumstances (Proverbs 3:5).
For the past few months I have been weathering a rain shower in my life. Some days feel like a refreshing sunshower, but others are more akin to the thunderstorms Minnesota has been plagued with recently. It is in this time that I have learned to not resist the rain and to trust the Lord in His use of every minute of it.
After all rain is essential for growth in this world. It is no different for our hearts. These rainy seasons are times we draw close to the Father for shelter, wearily bringing all our pain and struggles to Him, completely relying on Him to lead us through. As trust builds and strength is steadily restored God often gives us the grace to see the benefits of the rain – the harvest to be reaped at just the right time. It is then we can dance in the rain, rejoicing in our God-monitored growth and the promise of “a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Have faith, dear one, for there is always a purpose in the rainy season. There is always the promise of a rainbow to follow the storm. There is always the presence of the Companion who will “never leave us or forsake us” (Hebrews 13:5). Let us open our hearts to receive whatever the Lord has for us in every season. Let us trust today that He has the absolute best for us and that all is for His glory.
“All of my life, in every season, You are still God. I have a reason to sing.” ~“Desert Song” by Hillsong
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The Father's Love
I do everything quickly. I walk quickly, I talk quickly, I eat quickly, I complete my tasks quickly (but not at the sacrifice of quality ;) ). The rapid pace of my life leaves me vulnerable to becoming completely task-oriented and forgetting to take a step back in order to enjoy the little (and important) things in life.
In short, I am an expert at trying to use my accomplishments as a way to gain identity and favor in the eyes of others. I strive to be the best I can be, running and running until I don't recognize my own exhaustion.
These past few months have given me plenty of opportunities to grow in my faith, and have caused me to rely completely on God -- trusting in His goodness, seeking after His will in ambiguous and emotionally strained situations. I am so thankful for these struggles as they have brought me closer to Jesus and have humbled me to see my desperate need for His strength in my incredible weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
But for all the things I have been graciously taught by our Father, I continuously forget to rest. I have pressed forward with the mindset that if I study the Bible religiously (no pun intended), do my best in school, and put my whole heart into all I do, I will gain God's favor.
In this mindset, I was talking to God last night in my frustration. I cried out "God, what do you want from me?"
In my heart, I heard three words back:
"I want you."
My eyes fill as I write this, as I remember the relief I felt as the curtain of my own obscure perception was lifted to reveal the incredible depth of the Father's love. In that moment, I saw the amazing grace of Jesus on the cross, and realized what God had been trying to tell me all along: God wants our love. He wants to be with us. Everything else He desires will naturally follow when our hearts draw closer and closer to His.
No more striving. Just love. The love of the Father.
Psalm 51:16-17 "You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice You desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."
He wants us. He wants our hearts. He wants to be with us, today and always.
How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure. That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure.
This, then, is the beauty of the Father's love, illustrated so perfectly through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
In short, I am an expert at trying to use my accomplishments as a way to gain identity and favor in the eyes of others. I strive to be the best I can be, running and running until I don't recognize my own exhaustion.
These past few months have given me plenty of opportunities to grow in my faith, and have caused me to rely completely on God -- trusting in His goodness, seeking after His will in ambiguous and emotionally strained situations. I am so thankful for these struggles as they have brought me closer to Jesus and have humbled me to see my desperate need for His strength in my incredible weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
But for all the things I have been graciously taught by our Father, I continuously forget to rest. I have pressed forward with the mindset that if I study the Bible religiously (no pun intended), do my best in school, and put my whole heart into all I do, I will gain God's favor.
In this mindset, I was talking to God last night in my frustration. I cried out "God, what do you want from me?"
In my heart, I heard three words back:
"I want you."
My eyes fill as I write this, as I remember the relief I felt as the curtain of my own obscure perception was lifted to reveal the incredible depth of the Father's love. In that moment, I saw the amazing grace of Jesus on the cross, and realized what God had been trying to tell me all along: God wants our love. He wants to be with us. Everything else He desires will naturally follow when our hearts draw closer and closer to His.
No more striving. Just love. The love of the Father.
Psalm 51:16-17 "You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice You desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."
He wants us. He wants our hearts. He wants to be with us, today and always.
How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure. That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure.
This, then, is the beauty of the Father's love, illustrated so perfectly through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
God With Us
Life has its wonderful moments, and its times of pain. There are surprises and disappointments, encouraging days and frustrating hours. Life is a rollercoaster of uncertainties. Often times the beautiful moments are quickly dampened by deeper issues that rise to the surface in the midst of our joy. Often times it is this undercurrent of joy and peace that keeps us going when the rapids threaten to steal away everything we hold dear. Life is uncertain. Life is anything but what we expect it to be at any given moment.
It is easy to lose sight of what is truly important when we travel on the road of life. We focus so intently on the step ahead (or the next 14 steps ahead) that we forget to look to the One guiding us. In our desperation to understand the road we are on, we often forget that life is not about the destination, or the check points along the way; life is about the journey, and who we become on that journey.
Most importantly, life is about Who we are walking with on that journey.
I am learning more and more that all that really matters is that I am walking with God. As long as I remember to look to my right, to see His fingers interlaced with mine, I know I'm going to be okay. In the middle of the chaos, He is my refuge and strength. He is my Comforter, my stronghold, my Giver of peace. He is my steady undercurrent of joy that will always be the foundation of my life, whether the rapids rage or the stream passes peacefully along. He is the beat to my heart when I forget to feel, the breath in my lungs when I forget to rest.
In all the hard times of my life, the times of searching, the times of disbelief, grief, and anger, God has never left my side. He never will leave my side. He travels with me still. "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me. Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me." (Psalm 23:4).
The saving grace in my times of disappointment and hopelessness is the reminder that "God will never leave me or forsake me" (Hebrews 13:5, Deut. 31:6 NIV). The NLT version reads, "God will never fail me. God will never abandon me."
God is on our side. Of whom, of what, shall we be afraid?
God is our Guide, our constant Provider. (Psalm 37:23-24, Psalm 37:34, Psalm 40:1-3, Psalm 43:3, etc.)
God is our hope, our salvation. "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again, my Savior and my God!" (Psalm 42:11)
God is with us. Emmanual, the name prophesied to be given to Jesus, the Messiah, means "God with us". God made himself known to the Israelites throughout the Old Testament, but never was God so present as when He walked this earth as His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus came to bridge the gap of sin that kept us from being with God eternally. Now, because of Jesus' blood and His gift of the Holy Spirit (our Guide, Comforter, and Couselor), God is with us always. All we need to do is look to the right, and see His fingers interlaced with ours, holding our hand through every joy, every trial, and every uncertain (or certain!) step.
In Isaiah 41:13, God makes this promise to us: "For I hold you by your right hand -- I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid. I am here to help you.'"
The verse that really encourages me in my uncertainties comes from Psalm 73:23-26: "Yet I still belong to You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but You? I desire You more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart, He is mine forever."
This passage covers everything -- all the important aspects of our journeys. The psalmist does not describe the journey, or the importance of the next step. The passage begins with declaring that WE BELONG TO GOD, and that He holds our right hand and guides us with His wisdom and knowledge that stem from His everlasting goodness. The psalmist goes on to say how God is everything we need, and all we could ever desire -- that He is the strength and hope that we need to persevere, the very beat of our hearts.
"Come close to God, and God will come close to you." (James 4:8)
Emmanual. God with us. Then, now, and forevermore.
You are my Hope, You are my Song, You are my Light, You are my Salvation. ("You Are My Hope" by Cory Asbury).
"Send out Your light and Your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You live!" (Psalm 43:3)
Emmanual. God with us. With us then, with us still, with us eternally. He's faithful to the end. He's faithful to our hearts.
Amen.
It is easy to lose sight of what is truly important when we travel on the road of life. We focus so intently on the step ahead (or the next 14 steps ahead) that we forget to look to the One guiding us. In our desperation to understand the road we are on, we often forget that life is not about the destination, or the check points along the way; life is about the journey, and who we become on that journey.
Most importantly, life is about Who we are walking with on that journey.
I am learning more and more that all that really matters is that I am walking with God. As long as I remember to look to my right, to see His fingers interlaced with mine, I know I'm going to be okay. In the middle of the chaos, He is my refuge and strength. He is my Comforter, my stronghold, my Giver of peace. He is my steady undercurrent of joy that will always be the foundation of my life, whether the rapids rage or the stream passes peacefully along. He is the beat to my heart when I forget to feel, the breath in my lungs when I forget to rest.
In all the hard times of my life, the times of searching, the times of disbelief, grief, and anger, God has never left my side. He never will leave my side. He travels with me still. "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me. Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me." (Psalm 23:4).
The saving grace in my times of disappointment and hopelessness is the reminder that "God will never leave me or forsake me" (Hebrews 13:5, Deut. 31:6 NIV). The NLT version reads, "God will never fail me. God will never abandon me."
God is on our side. Of whom, of what, shall we be afraid?
God is our Guide, our constant Provider. (Psalm 37:23-24, Psalm 37:34, Psalm 40:1-3, Psalm 43:3, etc.)
God is our hope, our salvation. "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again, my Savior and my God!" (Psalm 42:11)
God is with us. Emmanual, the name prophesied to be given to Jesus, the Messiah, means "God with us". God made himself known to the Israelites throughout the Old Testament, but never was God so present as when He walked this earth as His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus came to bridge the gap of sin that kept us from being with God eternally. Now, because of Jesus' blood and His gift of the Holy Spirit (our Guide, Comforter, and Couselor), God is with us always. All we need to do is look to the right, and see His fingers interlaced with ours, holding our hand through every joy, every trial, and every uncertain (or certain!) step.
In Isaiah 41:13, God makes this promise to us: "For I hold you by your right hand -- I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid. I am here to help you.'"
The verse that really encourages me in my uncertainties comes from Psalm 73:23-26: "Yet I still belong to You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but You? I desire You more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart, He is mine forever."
This passage covers everything -- all the important aspects of our journeys. The psalmist does not describe the journey, or the importance of the next step. The passage begins with declaring that WE BELONG TO GOD, and that He holds our right hand and guides us with His wisdom and knowledge that stem from His everlasting goodness. The psalmist goes on to say how God is everything we need, and all we could ever desire -- that He is the strength and hope that we need to persevere, the very beat of our hearts.
"Come close to God, and God will come close to you." (James 4:8)
Emmanual. God with us. Then, now, and forevermore.
You are my Hope, You are my Song, You are my Light, You are my Salvation. ("You Are My Hope" by Cory Asbury).
"Send out Your light and Your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You live!" (Psalm 43:3)
Emmanual. God with us. With us then, with us still, with us eternally. He's faithful to the end. He's faithful to our hearts.
Amen.
Monday, April 19, 2010
The Power of Prayer
Confession: I have fallen incredibly short in the area of praying for my friends. They will ask me for prayer, and I will pray for them right then and there, and maybe add them in briefly when I'm talking with Jesus, but I have failed to genuinely focus on the needs of my friends through prayer. For this, I apologize.
But the best way to say "I'm sorry" is to change.
Prayer is the most powerful weapon we possess. It is taking our concerns and our struggles exactly to where they should be -- placed at God's feet, in God's hands. There is nothing more powerful and reassuring than that. No amount of our worrying can provide the peace and remarkable change that comes from surrendering our worries to God in prayer.
Philippians 4:6 says "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." Amen. The passage goes on to say that "peace that surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Jesus Christ." (Philippians 4:7) And that's an incredibly important piece -- that's where satan attacks us: in our hearts and with our thoughts. This peace, given by the reassurance of God's truth and unfailing love, is essential in protecting ourselves against negative thoughts that keep us from seeing ourselves and others the way God sees us.
Prayer is incredibly powerful, and bonds people together in a way nothing else can.
In Ephesians 6:18 Paul emphasizes the incredible necessity for continued prayer for each other: "Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere."
James 5:13-17 also discusses the impact of prayer on lives, and the essentiality of prayer in our lives: "Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for three and a half years! Then, when he prayed again, the sky sent down rain and the earth began to yield its crops."
Prayer is powerful because it takes us to the cross. When we surrender all our worries (for ourselves and others) to God, He can take those worries and create change. The central piece of prayer is God. Prayer is not a powerful act in and of itself -- it is powerful because we are committing ourselves to our Father, we are trusting fully in His power to change our circumstances and our hearts, and believing that in His goodness, He will answer our prayers in whichever way is healthiest for us.
Praying for each other is ESSENTIAL. I do not want to fall short in this area anymore. If I am to truly love my sisters and brothers, I need to commit to praying for them earnestly. I can't just skim over their needs on the way to the monologue of my own. Nope. Not acceptable anymore. It's time for me to wake up and fight for the ones I love by bringing their struggles to the cross, to the One who can make everything right, and Who makes everything new, through the power of prayer.
Amen!
But the best way to say "I'm sorry" is to change.
Prayer is the most powerful weapon we possess. It is taking our concerns and our struggles exactly to where they should be -- placed at God's feet, in God's hands. There is nothing more powerful and reassuring than that. No amount of our worrying can provide the peace and remarkable change that comes from surrendering our worries to God in prayer.
Philippians 4:6 says "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." Amen. The passage goes on to say that "peace that surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Jesus Christ." (Philippians 4:7) And that's an incredibly important piece -- that's where satan attacks us: in our hearts and with our thoughts. This peace, given by the reassurance of God's truth and unfailing love, is essential in protecting ourselves against negative thoughts that keep us from seeing ourselves and others the way God sees us.
Prayer is incredibly powerful, and bonds people together in a way nothing else can.
In Ephesians 6:18 Paul emphasizes the incredible necessity for continued prayer for each other: "Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere."
James 5:13-17 also discusses the impact of prayer on lives, and the essentiality of prayer in our lives: "Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for three and a half years! Then, when he prayed again, the sky sent down rain and the earth began to yield its crops."
Prayer is powerful because it takes us to the cross. When we surrender all our worries (for ourselves and others) to God, He can take those worries and create change. The central piece of prayer is God. Prayer is not a powerful act in and of itself -- it is powerful because we are committing ourselves to our Father, we are trusting fully in His power to change our circumstances and our hearts, and believing that in His goodness, He will answer our prayers in whichever way is healthiest for us.
Praying for each other is ESSENTIAL. I do not want to fall short in this area anymore. If I am to truly love my sisters and brothers, I need to commit to praying for them earnestly. I can't just skim over their needs on the way to the monologue of my own. Nope. Not acceptable anymore. It's time for me to wake up and fight for the ones I love by bringing their struggles to the cross, to the One who can make everything right, and Who makes everything new, through the power of prayer.
Amen!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
All I'll Ever Need
As I was laying in bed (before I got out of bed to write this blog :)), I was struck by the amazing ways God provided for me today. Today was incredibly stressful for me, and I found myself thinking several times that I just wasn't going to make it through this last leg of the semester. Where I usually try to find an optimistic viewpoint, I was instead struggling to keep my head above the waves of a pessimistic attitude.
But God provided. He surrounded me with completely unexpected encouragement -- encouragement I didn't even realize I needed. Oh, how I needed the reminders He provided. Through these individuals, He reminded me that I am valued, that I am blessed, and ultimately that I am in His care.
I'm filled with so much peace -- a complete contrast from the stormy weather of my emotions today. I'm simply full of... contentment, and rest. Mmm.
Anyway, let's continue talking about God the Provider, because this is BIG.
This was a huge lesson for me to learn, in conjunction with "God is good". God is good, therefore, God provides all that is good for us.
These parts of God's character have unfortunately been hard to believe in some of the stormier moments of my life. As one example, my financial situation has been a difficult one for several years now, but ever since I started praying for God to provide, I have been able to see the ways that He already has, and continues to care for me. In the simplest and most unexpected ways, God has delivered money into my bank account at the precise moments I needed it.
God provides all of the things we need. Matthew 6:8 tells us "Your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him!" This makes God the ultimate Provider -- He perceives what we will need, and arranges situations to provide for us out of His goodness and love.
I could write about God being the Provider for hours, as He has opened my eyes to all of the provision He has laid out in my life. The more I entrust in Him, the more He opens my eyes to see the gifts He is giving me. Kind of like a bank, now that I think about it... which may seem like a strange analogy, but bear with me: The more money a person chooses to invest without withdrawing, the higher interest rate they can attach to their original sum, which provides a larger turnover than if the invester had chosen not to entrust so much money with the bank.
While God certainly is not a banking system, our trust works in a similar fashion. God is the Provider regardless of whether we choose to acknowledge it or not (Matthew 6:25-30), however, we cannot experience the complete wonders of God's provision if we do not entrust Him with our everything, and do not seek after Him first. The continuation of this passage in Matthew exemplifies this very idea: "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need." (Matthew 6:33)
Not only will God provide for us in the physical sense, but in the emotional and spiritual senses as well. When we seek after Him with abandon, our eyes are opened to the fact that God HIMSELF is everything we will ever need.
The Psalmist in 142:5 says "You are all I really want in life." The closer we draw to God, the less dependent we become on anything other than God's unfailing love. We gradually realize that God is our center, the very beating of our hearts, and that no matter what happens in our lives, no matter what we may be lacking or what we may have in abundance, the one thing that will never change is that God is "our Rock and our Salvation, our Fortress where we will never be shaken" (Psalm 62:2).
Psalm 73:26 further illuminates this wonder: "My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart, He is mine forever."
You are all I really want in life.
Nothing can separate us from the provision of this unfailing love.
The verse that is my constant reminder of God's provision comes from Isaiah 40: "He will feed His flock like a Shepherd. He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart." (Isaiah 40:11).
This verse really shows us the inseparable connection between God's provision and His love. He not only provides for His flock in the physical sense, but He gives us His love, the one thing we TRULY need, whether we recognize that or not.
Thank You, Lord, for being our everything when we have nothing, and for Your patience with us as we search to better understand Your Father's heart.
But God provided. He surrounded me with completely unexpected encouragement -- encouragement I didn't even realize I needed. Oh, how I needed the reminders He provided. Through these individuals, He reminded me that I am valued, that I am blessed, and ultimately that I am in His care.
I'm filled with so much peace -- a complete contrast from the stormy weather of my emotions today. I'm simply full of... contentment, and rest. Mmm.
Anyway, let's continue talking about God the Provider, because this is BIG.
This was a huge lesson for me to learn, in conjunction with "God is good". God is good, therefore, God provides all that is good for us.
These parts of God's character have unfortunately been hard to believe in some of the stormier moments of my life. As one example, my financial situation has been a difficult one for several years now, but ever since I started praying for God to provide, I have been able to see the ways that He already has, and continues to care for me. In the simplest and most unexpected ways, God has delivered money into my bank account at the precise moments I needed it.
God provides all of the things we need. Matthew 6:8 tells us "Your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him!" This makes God the ultimate Provider -- He perceives what we will need, and arranges situations to provide for us out of His goodness and love.
I could write about God being the Provider for hours, as He has opened my eyes to all of the provision He has laid out in my life. The more I entrust in Him, the more He opens my eyes to see the gifts He is giving me. Kind of like a bank, now that I think about it... which may seem like a strange analogy, but bear with me: The more money a person chooses to invest without withdrawing, the higher interest rate they can attach to their original sum, which provides a larger turnover than if the invester had chosen not to entrust so much money with the bank.
While God certainly is not a banking system, our trust works in a similar fashion. God is the Provider regardless of whether we choose to acknowledge it or not (Matthew 6:25-30), however, we cannot experience the complete wonders of God's provision if we do not entrust Him with our everything, and do not seek after Him first. The continuation of this passage in Matthew exemplifies this very idea: "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need." (Matthew 6:33)
Not only will God provide for us in the physical sense, but in the emotional and spiritual senses as well. When we seek after Him with abandon, our eyes are opened to the fact that God HIMSELF is everything we will ever need.
The Psalmist in 142:5 says "You are all I really want in life." The closer we draw to God, the less dependent we become on anything other than God's unfailing love. We gradually realize that God is our center, the very beating of our hearts, and that no matter what happens in our lives, no matter what we may be lacking or what we may have in abundance, the one thing that will never change is that God is "our Rock and our Salvation, our Fortress where we will never be shaken" (Psalm 62:2).
Psalm 73:26 further illuminates this wonder: "My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart, He is mine forever."
You are all I really want in life.
Nothing can separate us from the provision of this unfailing love.
The verse that is my constant reminder of God's provision comes from Isaiah 40: "He will feed His flock like a Shepherd. He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart." (Isaiah 40:11).
This verse really shows us the inseparable connection between God's provision and His love. He not only provides for His flock in the physical sense, but He gives us His love, the one thing we TRULY need, whether we recognize that or not.
Thank You, Lord, for being our everything when we have nothing, and for Your patience with us as we search to better understand Your Father's heart.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
What's in a Name?
A lot, actually.
While a rose by any other name will still smell as sweet, there's something to be said about names. A name gives a person identity, a place location and separation from other places.
My name was given to me by my parents at 3:26am on an early summer morning, or maybe before then.
My last name has been with my dad's side of the family for centuries, coming from England, to Massachussetts during the Revolutionary War, and eventually making its way to Minnesota, where it was given to a baby girl on that early summer morning in St. Paul. That name comes with an entire set of expectations.
With this last name, I was identified as my father's daughter, I was the pastor's kid, and immediately beloved by the church community for this reason alone. I was also jointly identified with my sister, who paved the way two years before me, setting up other expectations for me to meet upon arrival. The phrase, "Oh, you're a 'Smith'!" luckily has continued to be a positive phrase, but it provides me with this certain set of expectations nonetheless. So what's in this name? An entire set of situational stereotypes of "perfection" that sometimes have been a struggle to meet.
However, this name has also associated and blessed me with an incredibly loving family with a reputation for kindness, gentleness, and provision, which I wouldn't trade for the world :)
Now that we've discussed my apellido, as it's called in Spanish, it's time to look at the name that REALLY sets the stage for this post: "Amy".
In the Bible, God bequeathed names to the people who followed him. From Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, and Saul to Paul, God has been giving more meaning to our names by following Him, giving us promises through the very bestowal of a certain name.
Several times in Biblical history God replaced a name separating the Jewish nation from Him with a name that promised an everlasting covenant. Isaiah 62:4 states "Never again will you be called "The Forsaken City" or "The Desolate Land." Your new name will be "The City of God's Delight" and "The Bride of God" for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as his bride."
Similarly, God promises in Hosea 2:23 "I will show love to those I called 'Not loved.' And to those I called 'Not my people,' I will say, 'Now you are my people.'"
God uses names to proclaim His promises to us, and to bring us back into communion with Him.
(Now, this "name concept" may not apply to everyone. In fact, for some people I would hope it doesn't. There are several names that sound beautiful but have unfortunate meanings that I would hope never become the living situation for the individual... For example, my middle name means "Snare". My mom always told me it meant "Princess" like my sister's name does... Babynames.com tells me differently...)
However, I have seen the meaning of my first name to be the biggest challenge in my life, and the greatest promise God offers me. Whether this is by coincidence or by divine intervention doesn't necessarily matter.
Amy means "Beloved".
As I previously stated, the idea of my lovability is an idea I often struggle to grasp as truth in my life. I may have self-confidence down, but self-esteem can be an entirely different issue at times. In those moments of greatest insecurity, I begin to question my value in my relationships, whether the people in my life love me as much as I love them, and even if I will ever be loved as passionately by my future husband as he will be loved by me.
Now, none of these concerns are necessarily fair or founded on anything solid. Instead, they rest on top of a garbage pile of past hurt, misconceptions, and lies straight from Satan.
The result has been an obsession with striving. An obsession with building walls to avoid hurt. An obsession with perfection. And ultimately, discontent and apology for who God created me to be.
I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. But no one who really loves me expects me to be anyone other than myself.
So here's how this struggle has begun to be remedied:
Instead of searching for my identity and self-worth in the eyes and approval of others, God has shown me that my identity rests solely in that I AM HIS (CREATED BY HIM), AND I AM LOVED BY HIM.
This realization, this amazing truth, has rocked my world to the core. It has stabilized me. It has given me meaning beyond striving. It has taught me the meaning of grace.
Beyond that, it has taught me the meaning of love, the very meaning of my name.
God is love, I am God's, and I am loved by God. This is where the struggle ends, and the love story begins. After all, God says to us that He is our Beloved, and we are His (Song of Songs 6:3) . I am my Beloved's and He is mine. This is not only the meaning behind my name, but the meaning behind my very existence: Love.
I am Beloved. We are beloved.
While a rose by any other name will still smell as sweet, there's something to be said about names. A name gives a person identity, a place location and separation from other places.
My name was given to me by my parents at 3:26am on an early summer morning, or maybe before then.
My last name has been with my dad's side of the family for centuries, coming from England, to Massachussetts during the Revolutionary War, and eventually making its way to Minnesota, where it was given to a baby girl on that early summer morning in St. Paul. That name comes with an entire set of expectations.
With this last name, I was identified as my father's daughter, I was the pastor's kid, and immediately beloved by the church community for this reason alone. I was also jointly identified with my sister, who paved the way two years before me, setting up other expectations for me to meet upon arrival. The phrase, "Oh, you're a 'Smith'!" luckily has continued to be a positive phrase, but it provides me with this certain set of expectations nonetheless. So what's in this name? An entire set of situational stereotypes of "perfection" that sometimes have been a struggle to meet.
However, this name has also associated and blessed me with an incredibly loving family with a reputation for kindness, gentleness, and provision, which I wouldn't trade for the world :)
Now that we've discussed my apellido, as it's called in Spanish, it's time to look at the name that REALLY sets the stage for this post: "Amy".
In the Bible, God bequeathed names to the people who followed him. From Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, and Saul to Paul, God has been giving more meaning to our names by following Him, giving us promises through the very bestowal of a certain name.
Several times in Biblical history God replaced a name separating the Jewish nation from Him with a name that promised an everlasting covenant. Isaiah 62:4 states "Never again will you be called "The Forsaken City" or "The Desolate Land." Your new name will be "The City of God's Delight" and "The Bride of God" for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as his bride."
Similarly, God promises in Hosea 2:23 "I will show love to those I called 'Not loved.' And to those I called 'Not my people,' I will say, 'Now you are my people.'"
God uses names to proclaim His promises to us, and to bring us back into communion with Him.
(Now, this "name concept" may not apply to everyone. In fact, for some people I would hope it doesn't. There are several names that sound beautiful but have unfortunate meanings that I would hope never become the living situation for the individual... For example, my middle name means "Snare". My mom always told me it meant "Princess" like my sister's name does... Babynames.com tells me differently...)
However, I have seen the meaning of my first name to be the biggest challenge in my life, and the greatest promise God offers me. Whether this is by coincidence or by divine intervention doesn't necessarily matter.
Amy means "Beloved".
As I previously stated, the idea of my lovability is an idea I often struggle to grasp as truth in my life. I may have self-confidence down, but self-esteem can be an entirely different issue at times. In those moments of greatest insecurity, I begin to question my value in my relationships, whether the people in my life love me as much as I love them, and even if I will ever be loved as passionately by my future husband as he will be loved by me.
Now, none of these concerns are necessarily fair or founded on anything solid. Instead, they rest on top of a garbage pile of past hurt, misconceptions, and lies straight from Satan.
The result has been an obsession with striving. An obsession with building walls to avoid hurt. An obsession with perfection. And ultimately, discontent and apology for who God created me to be.
I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. But no one who really loves me expects me to be anyone other than myself.
So here's how this struggle has begun to be remedied:
Instead of searching for my identity and self-worth in the eyes and approval of others, God has shown me that my identity rests solely in that I AM HIS (CREATED BY HIM), AND I AM LOVED BY HIM.
This realization, this amazing truth, has rocked my world to the core. It has stabilized me. It has given me meaning beyond striving. It has taught me the meaning of grace.
Beyond that, it has taught me the meaning of love, the very meaning of my name.
God is love, I am God's, and I am loved by God. This is where the struggle ends, and the love story begins. After all, God says to us that He is our Beloved, and we are His (Song of Songs 6:3) . I am my Beloved's and He is mine. This is not only the meaning behind my name, but the meaning behind my very existence: Love.
I am Beloved. We are beloved.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Out of death and into life!
It is 12:57am on Easter morning, and I've got to say, I am seeing Easter with completely new eyes this year. Like, wow. I hope I can explain it...
Today I struggled with falling away from God in a way that I had thought was dealt with for good. But today, the issue crept up on me and I gave in without a fight. I finally realized how sin keeps us away from the love of the Father, and it broke me. I was more repentant than maybe I have ever been in my life. I didn't want to be the one building walls between me and my Savior, but when I looked down, I saw the cement dust on my hands. The hammer in my fist.
I felt so weak and hopeless, so incredibly human. Here I was singing songs about God breaking down walls, and I was the one pouring the cement into place. What a shock. I finally realized that it really was my sin that nailed Jesus to the cross. It was my humanity, my weakness, my desire for things outside of God's love and goodness.
I have never been able to understand James 4:7-10 like I did today: "Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sadness instead of laughter" (certain verses, NLT).
Then I started listening to East to West by Casting Crowns, crying out to Jesus to show me just "How far the east is from the west, from one scarred hand to the other". I was in complete awe that God would take my sins and cast them away from Him, breaking down the walls that I had built up of my own accord. That He had taken care of it, once and for all, at the cross.
I then turned to The Voice of Truth, also by Casting Crowns, and the verse on the screen was from Psalm 40. As I turned to that chapter, Psalm 40:2-3 resounded with me, giving me hope: "He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God."
Out of mourning, and into praising God. Out of death and into life.
One of Cory Asbury's songs says this: You called me out from the darkness to shine Your light, raised me up from death and gave me life!
Amen. God is calling us to something bigger. He is calling us to turn from the death in this world, to turn away from the sorrow and mourning, and to embrace the dawn of saving grace. To join Him in LIFE. Just as Jesus' death was mourned and stripped so many of hope, His resurrection has filled our hearts with a new hope and our futures with light. We no longer need to live in the bonds of sin, we no longer need to be victims of the things that keep us from Christ. Christ took care of all of these things through His death and resurrection. Sacrifice is required for the forgiveness of sins, and Jesus paid the ultimate price for us, His Bride.
Psalm 51:16-17 says, "You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice You desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."
So on this glorious day, this day of hope and life, let us live out the words of John the Baptist, first declared in Isaiah 40: "Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near! Prepare the way for the Lord!"(Matthew 3:2-3)
He is risen! He is risen indeed!
Today I struggled with falling away from God in a way that I had thought was dealt with for good. But today, the issue crept up on me and I gave in without a fight. I finally realized how sin keeps us away from the love of the Father, and it broke me. I was more repentant than maybe I have ever been in my life. I didn't want to be the one building walls between me and my Savior, but when I looked down, I saw the cement dust on my hands. The hammer in my fist.
I felt so weak and hopeless, so incredibly human. Here I was singing songs about God breaking down walls, and I was the one pouring the cement into place. What a shock. I finally realized that it really was my sin that nailed Jesus to the cross. It was my humanity, my weakness, my desire for things outside of God's love and goodness.
I have never been able to understand James 4:7-10 like I did today: "Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sadness instead of laughter" (certain verses, NLT).
Then I started listening to East to West by Casting Crowns, crying out to Jesus to show me just "How far the east is from the west, from one scarred hand to the other". I was in complete awe that God would take my sins and cast them away from Him, breaking down the walls that I had built up of my own accord. That He had taken care of it, once and for all, at the cross.
I then turned to The Voice of Truth, also by Casting Crowns, and the verse on the screen was from Psalm 40. As I turned to that chapter, Psalm 40:2-3 resounded with me, giving me hope: "He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God."
Out of mourning, and into praising God. Out of death and into life.
One of Cory Asbury's songs says this: You called me out from the darkness to shine Your light, raised me up from death and gave me life!
Amen. God is calling us to something bigger. He is calling us to turn from the death in this world, to turn away from the sorrow and mourning, and to embrace the dawn of saving grace. To join Him in LIFE. Just as Jesus' death was mourned and stripped so many of hope, His resurrection has filled our hearts with a new hope and our futures with light. We no longer need to live in the bonds of sin, we no longer need to be victims of the things that keep us from Christ. Christ took care of all of these things through His death and resurrection. Sacrifice is required for the forgiveness of sins, and Jesus paid the ultimate price for us, His Bride.
Psalm 51:16-17 says, "You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice You desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."
So on this glorious day, this day of hope and life, let us live out the words of John the Baptist, first declared in Isaiah 40: "Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near! Prepare the way for the Lord!"(Matthew 3:2-3)
He is risen! He is risen indeed!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Love is...
Everything.
The goal.
The bottom line.
Point A, point B, and everything in between.
I've learned a lot about love in the past 24 hours. God has challenged me with a new aspect of love that I've recently been able to put into practice with my relationship with Him, but have been hesitant to apply to my relationships with others: the trust aspect.
Oh boy. Here's the thing: in difficult situations, it is hard for me to trust anyone but myself. It was quite the adventure to lay my life down before Christ and let Him take the reins -- an adventure that resulted in blessings beyond my imagination. There is nothing more rewarding in my life than trusting completely in my Savior, my Creator, my Confidant.
Silly me, I thought I was done learning about trust. I had surrendered it ALL, or at least was willing to try to surrender all my control, and that was quite the leap of faith for me. But God showed me yesterday evening that I need to trust others as well if I am to love them like I say I do.
Whoa. Uh, God, are You sure? I mean... these people are human. I can learn to trust in Your perfect, unfailing love, but how can I trust in imperfect people? As an imperfect person myself, I know that we are fully capable of injuring each other...
Sigh. As I type this, I see that this is going to be a longer process than I originally perceived. This trusting other people deal is going to take me through my past relationships, cleaning up the garbage of past friendships and relationships that have left me alone and barricaded by the cement walls of defense I built around my oversized heart.
But here's the deal -- I was MADE for love. My heart was made for it, I was created for intimacy, passion, and excitement in friendships and my future marriage. My heart was never meant to be protected behind the steel barricades I have set up all around. I almost had myself convinced that I could love people from inside my little fortress; that I could give and give and never have to risk taking from anyone. Oh no. I would be self-sufficient, feeding off of God's love alone, and then giving all I have to people in my life without asking for anything in return. Because that would be "guarding my heart", right?
Not quite. See, there's a difference between guarding my heart and forgetting how it was meant to be used. And my heart was never made for steel bars and cement cells -- it was made to run free in an open field by a bubbling stream with a waterfall at the end of it. My heart was made for beauty, and all I had given it was a small love fern in its damp prison cell.
So how do I begin trusting?
Honestly? Can't say I'm sure I know the answer to that question...
It's going to take a mental process and emotional transformation far beyond my capabilities -- it's going to take a miracle. A compilation of small, daily steps in the right direction. It's going to take trustingin the goodness of my friends' hearts, and in the value of mine. It's going to take honesty on my part to tell the people I love what I need from them. It's going to take God's grace and gentle guidance for the "learning to trust" process to become less of a task and more of a natural occurence.
So really, it's time. It's time for my heart to take full form, to burst from its protective sheath and blossom into the exotic, passionate flower that it is. It's going to take courage, and faith that all will be well. It's going to take loving myself, and a refusal to apologize for who God created me to be.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." ~1 John 4:18
I will trust in You, and I will not be afraid.
The goal.
The bottom line.
Point A, point B, and everything in between.
I've learned a lot about love in the past 24 hours. God has challenged me with a new aspect of love that I've recently been able to put into practice with my relationship with Him, but have been hesitant to apply to my relationships with others: the trust aspect.
Oh boy. Here's the thing: in difficult situations, it is hard for me to trust anyone but myself. It was quite the adventure to lay my life down before Christ and let Him take the reins -- an adventure that resulted in blessings beyond my imagination. There is nothing more rewarding in my life than trusting completely in my Savior, my Creator, my Confidant.
Silly me, I thought I was done learning about trust. I had surrendered it ALL, or at least was willing to try to surrender all my control, and that was quite the leap of faith for me. But God showed me yesterday evening that I need to trust others as well if I am to love them like I say I do.
Whoa. Uh, God, are You sure? I mean... these people are human. I can learn to trust in Your perfect, unfailing love, but how can I trust in imperfect people? As an imperfect person myself, I know that we are fully capable of injuring each other...
Sigh. As I type this, I see that this is going to be a longer process than I originally perceived. This trusting other people deal is going to take me through my past relationships, cleaning up the garbage of past friendships and relationships that have left me alone and barricaded by the cement walls of defense I built around my oversized heart.
But here's the deal -- I was MADE for love. My heart was made for it, I was created for intimacy, passion, and excitement in friendships and my future marriage. My heart was never meant to be protected behind the steel barricades I have set up all around. I almost had myself convinced that I could love people from inside my little fortress; that I could give and give and never have to risk taking from anyone. Oh no. I would be self-sufficient, feeding off of God's love alone, and then giving all I have to people in my life without asking for anything in return. Because that would be "guarding my heart", right?
Not quite. See, there's a difference between guarding my heart and forgetting how it was meant to be used. And my heart was never made for steel bars and cement cells -- it was made to run free in an open field by a bubbling stream with a waterfall at the end of it. My heart was made for beauty, and all I had given it was a small love fern in its damp prison cell.
So how do I begin trusting?
Honestly? Can't say I'm sure I know the answer to that question...
It's going to take a mental process and emotional transformation far beyond my capabilities -- it's going to take a miracle. A compilation of small, daily steps in the right direction. It's going to take trustingin the goodness of my friends' hearts, and in the value of mine. It's going to take honesty on my part to tell the people I love what I need from them. It's going to take God's grace and gentle guidance for the "learning to trust" process to become less of a task and more of a natural occurence.
So really, it's time. It's time for my heart to take full form, to burst from its protective sheath and blossom into the exotic, passionate flower that it is. It's going to take courage, and faith that all will be well. It's going to take loving myself, and a refusal to apologize for who God created me to be.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." ~1 John 4:18
I will trust in You, and I will not be afraid.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Nothing can separate...
What a beautiful day to be alive! For real. I'm loving this indoctrination of spring into my life. Praise the Lord, oh my soul, the snow is gone :) This is a good thing.
I am officially back at Luther after a glorious 9 day break at home. Jesus totally blew my expectations for the week out of the water!!! He was at the center of every day, bringing light and joy and fulfilled promises and beautiful surprises to every activity.
However, as the week came to a close, I felt the all too familiar rush of anxiety fill me with dread at the prospect of heading back to school. A renewed influx of stress and separation was upon me, and I was NOT ready to experience that again. College has been hard for me this year, as I have pushed myself harder than I ever should. I won't even begin to explain my schedule because it's manageable and there's no reason for me to complain, seeing as it's all my doing, so I'll just leave you with the idea that I definitely bit off more than I can chew. Lesson learned.
The hardest part about college, however, has been location. My first year of college flew by; I loved being on my own and meeting new people. Life was all fun and games, with a pinch of stress and heartache. This year has been an entirely different ball game. I upped my game, taking on more rigorous course work, and adding numerous activities to my schedule. And without the rush of freshman year to propel me forward without a backward glance toward home, I have realized how much of a homebody I'm turning out to be. My familiy and friends are the most important parts of my life, and having them three hours away from me hasn't been easy. Understatement. It's been ridiculously difficult for me to be away, not only from civilization, but from the people I love and want to be with the most.
This being said, I have found hope. Over the past few months, difficult as they may have been, I have learned a wonderful thing about location: God is not defined by it.
When I went to Peru this January, I had a sinking feeling that my relationship with God would change as soon as I stepped off that airplane and drew the Peruvian air into my lungs. Hmm. Silly notion. God cannot be limited by time or space -- He created them! Instead of the absence of God that I so feared I would experience, God brought me into a deeper place with Him, cleaning up misconceptions I had about myself, romance, and Him. He was so ever present in my life in Peru, and I continue to look back on the month not as a time to learn Spanish, as it was originally intended, but as a month that cleaned my heart of a lot of the scar tissue that had formulated as a result of my past misconceptions of God. Mmm. He's taught me so much about His goodness and consistency. LOVE IT.
This past break has also revitalized my conception of location pertaining to my relationship with God. I knew that my spring break would be amazingly full of God's glory, as I had penciled every Jesus activity possible into my schedule. And God DELIVERED. There really isn't anything for me to say but WABAM. :) What God taught me about worship this week is that location doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whether I'm in a packed sanctuary, or in my dorm room alone, or in a friend's living room with a small group of friends. God will come, God will move. Jesus said "For where two or three come together in my name, there I will be also" (Matthew 18:20, NIV). He says nothing about location, because His primary location is in our hearts. So no matter where we are, there He is also, and as this verse states, He is especially present when we gather with other believers. YAY party with Jesus. Oh yes. I love this idea!
While God was pouring down His wonderfulness all week long, I continued to struggle with my feelings of a lack of purpose at Luther. Why in the world had I decided to go to a college that was so isolated and far away from the people that I love? The purpose still is not completely clear to me, but I know that God will reveal it to me in time. But even if a specific purpose never comes into my view, I know that my ultimate purpose, no matter where I am, is to worship my Lover (more on bride/wedding imagery next time! OH MAN. Exciting). Ultimately, it doesn't matter that I am distant from the ones I love, because the One who created me and loves me more than anyone else ever could is ALWAYS WITH ME. Nations' borders, physical ailments, doubts, stress, busyness -- NOTHING can separate me from this Love. This unfailing, beautiful, redeeming, glorious, shining, brilliant Love of my Father, Creator, Savior, Lover, and Friend:
After all, There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13, NLT) This love is OURS. Ours for the taking! Ours for free, given to us by the grace of God. Won for us by Jesus' death on the cross, and sealed in His resurrection as the Living God. Whoaaaa.
And this love, the greatest love of all, is unfailing:
"For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then My faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken," says the Lord, who has mercy on you. (Isaiah 54:10, NLT). Whoa whoa whoa. So even if the things I can't control (the earth itself) change, and everything around me as I know it shifts, God is always with me, and His love remains for me. This is big.
And even if I try to run away, if I myself try to separate myself from God's love, He will always find me, because He is always with me:
"I can never escape from Your Spirit! I can never get away from Your presence! If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I go down to the grave, You are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, and Your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night -- but even in darkness I cannot hide from You. To You the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to You." (Psalm 139:7-12, NLT). This is big. Like, phenomenally big. And it just keeps getting better. So, if the world around me shakes and changes, even there God is with me. If I intentionally try to change my location, God is still by my side.
And ultimately, the verse that inspired this entry sums up the location of God's limitless love in this way:
"I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow -- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below -- indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39, NLT). Yeah. The greatest love of all, given to us by Jesus in His death, never leaves us. No matter what may change within us -- our physical, mental, or emotional location in this world. NOTHING CAN SEPARATE. Not addictions, not busyness, not stress, not distraction, not ONE THING. Nothing. Nothing can separate.
Holy Spirit, break down walls
Lord Jesus, let them fall
We want to know all of You, Jesus
So break down the walls that are standing between us
Amen! Glory to God alone.
I am officially back at Luther after a glorious 9 day break at home. Jesus totally blew my expectations for the week out of the water!!! He was at the center of every day, bringing light and joy and fulfilled promises and beautiful surprises to every activity.
However, as the week came to a close, I felt the all too familiar rush of anxiety fill me with dread at the prospect of heading back to school. A renewed influx of stress and separation was upon me, and I was NOT ready to experience that again. College has been hard for me this year, as I have pushed myself harder than I ever should. I won't even begin to explain my schedule because it's manageable and there's no reason for me to complain, seeing as it's all my doing, so I'll just leave you with the idea that I definitely bit off more than I can chew. Lesson learned.
The hardest part about college, however, has been location. My first year of college flew by; I loved being on my own and meeting new people. Life was all fun and games, with a pinch of stress and heartache. This year has been an entirely different ball game. I upped my game, taking on more rigorous course work, and adding numerous activities to my schedule. And without the rush of freshman year to propel me forward without a backward glance toward home, I have realized how much of a homebody I'm turning out to be. My familiy and friends are the most important parts of my life, and having them three hours away from me hasn't been easy. Understatement. It's been ridiculously difficult for me to be away, not only from civilization, but from the people I love and want to be with the most.
This being said, I have found hope. Over the past few months, difficult as they may have been, I have learned a wonderful thing about location: God is not defined by it.
When I went to Peru this January, I had a sinking feeling that my relationship with God would change as soon as I stepped off that airplane and drew the Peruvian air into my lungs. Hmm. Silly notion. God cannot be limited by time or space -- He created them! Instead of the absence of God that I so feared I would experience, God brought me into a deeper place with Him, cleaning up misconceptions I had about myself, romance, and Him. He was so ever present in my life in Peru, and I continue to look back on the month not as a time to learn Spanish, as it was originally intended, but as a month that cleaned my heart of a lot of the scar tissue that had formulated as a result of my past misconceptions of God. Mmm. He's taught me so much about His goodness and consistency. LOVE IT.
This past break has also revitalized my conception of location pertaining to my relationship with God. I knew that my spring break would be amazingly full of God's glory, as I had penciled every Jesus activity possible into my schedule. And God DELIVERED. There really isn't anything for me to say but WABAM. :) What God taught me about worship this week is that location doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whether I'm in a packed sanctuary, or in my dorm room alone, or in a friend's living room with a small group of friends. God will come, God will move. Jesus said "For where two or three come together in my name, there I will be also" (Matthew 18:20, NIV). He says nothing about location, because His primary location is in our hearts. So no matter where we are, there He is also, and as this verse states, He is especially present when we gather with other believers. YAY party with Jesus. Oh yes. I love this idea!
While God was pouring down His wonderfulness all week long, I continued to struggle with my feelings of a lack of purpose at Luther. Why in the world had I decided to go to a college that was so isolated and far away from the people that I love? The purpose still is not completely clear to me, but I know that God will reveal it to me in time. But even if a specific purpose never comes into my view, I know that my ultimate purpose, no matter where I am, is to worship my Lover (more on bride/wedding imagery next time! OH MAN. Exciting). Ultimately, it doesn't matter that I am distant from the ones I love, because the One who created me and loves me more than anyone else ever could is ALWAYS WITH ME. Nations' borders, physical ailments, doubts, stress, busyness -- NOTHING can separate me from this Love. This unfailing, beautiful, redeeming, glorious, shining, brilliant Love of my Father, Creator, Savior, Lover, and Friend:
After all, There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13, NLT) This love is OURS. Ours for the taking! Ours for free, given to us by the grace of God. Won for us by Jesus' death on the cross, and sealed in His resurrection as the Living God. Whoaaaa.
And this love, the greatest love of all, is unfailing:
"For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then My faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken," says the Lord, who has mercy on you. (Isaiah 54:10, NLT). Whoa whoa whoa. So even if the things I can't control (the earth itself) change, and everything around me as I know it shifts, God is always with me, and His love remains for me. This is big.
And even if I try to run away, if I myself try to separate myself from God's love, He will always find me, because He is always with me:
"I can never escape from Your Spirit! I can never get away from Your presence! If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I go down to the grave, You are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, and Your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night -- but even in darkness I cannot hide from You. To You the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to You." (Psalm 139:7-12, NLT). This is big. Like, phenomenally big. And it just keeps getting better. So, if the world around me shakes and changes, even there God is with me. If I intentionally try to change my location, God is still by my side.
And ultimately, the verse that inspired this entry sums up the location of God's limitless love in this way:
"I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow -- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below -- indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39, NLT). Yeah. The greatest love of all, given to us by Jesus in His death, never leaves us. No matter what may change within us -- our physical, mental, or emotional location in this world. NOTHING CAN SEPARATE. Not addictions, not busyness, not stress, not distraction, not ONE THING. Nothing. Nothing can separate.
Holy Spirit, break down walls
Lord Jesus, let them fall
We want to know all of You, Jesus
So break down the walls that are standing between us
Amen! Glory to God alone.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
To begin...
Well, I've wanted to set up an official blog for sometime now, and while I've blogged for class requirements, I've never really felt the need to blog my personal thoughts until now.
It all began when my good friend and I watch Julie&Julia, and she suggested that I write a blog. That sounded like fun, so I thought I'd give it a shot.
Now, what to write about? Well, that was simple: the most important Part of my life, and the Center of it all -- Jesus. Oh yes. This is already looking good.
The title, "Like Gold Refined", came to me in song during a worship service, and I later used the line in a worship song I wrote this morning :) Essentially, this blog is intended... well, I'm not exactly sure what my intentions are. Maybe to remember all the glorious things God reveals to me, and to share those great and awesome pieces of God with whoever stumbles across this blog. I'm sensing that this blog will be more of an encouragement, a sort of "iron sharpening iron" deal. I'd love it to be a place for people to come together and share God's absolutely amazing works with each other. Community is absolutely essential in our walk with God. We were never intended to walk alone. Therefore, this blog will be going into existence as soon as I click the "Publish Post" button at the bottom of my screen. Okay.
I figure this blog will also help me work out my thoughts a little bit, as I tend to be a journal junky anyway. Writing definitely helps me process my thoughts like nothing else can, and there's something about the rhythmic clicking of the keyboard that keeps me here until everything is laid out on the table. So be prepared for bottom-of-the-heart questions, things that I wrestle with deep inside, and for revelations that have blessed me, and will hopefully bless you as well :)
Enough with the introductions, let's get to the good stuff.
Okay. So there's this Jesus fella. and OH MAN, He's so alive and present, and He is ON THE MOVE. Great things are already happening inside of us, the Spirit is moving. One of my daily devotionals, "Today is Your Best Day," illustrates the Holy Spirit as a river. Not only does the Holy Spirit provide living water, like Jesus told the Samaritan woman at the well (John 6), but it is MOVING. It is a river that does not stand still, because it is ALIVE. It moves with purpose. It moves within us to pour out on the world. A lake stands stagnant and can become infected with all sorts of... slimy things, for lack of a better description... but a river keeps things fresh EACH DAY. "His mercies begin afresh each morning" (Lamentations 3:23).
Sidenote: I have learned that there are SO MANY remarkable books in the Bible that I have often overlooked -- check out the string of minor prophets before you hit the New Testament. Solid promises to be found there!
I would go on forever about the greatness of God, but I know I'll be elaborating on this constantly throughout this blogging process :) All I have to say for now is Habakkuk 3. I will definitely be touching on what I have learned through that passage soon, but I don't want this first entry to turn people away with its length ;)
I leave you with the lyrics to my newest song, which illustrates the feeling in my heart that God is moving, like a rushing river that's ready to cut through the stonework of our hearts and society and break down walls and show us the wondrous glory of our God. OH MAN. Talk about exciting. I just can't wait to see what tomorrow brings :)
Joyful Song
The joy of the Lord is our strength and our song (Nehemiah 8:10)
The song of the Lord is rising, so sing along
Can you feel the Spirit rising, all you nations?
Can you feel the Spirit moving in your hearts?
‘Cause our God is alive and nothing can keep us apart (Romans 8:38-39)
The joy of the Lord is our strength and our song
The song of the Lord is rising, so sing along
Can you feel the fire burning, all you people?
It’s the fire that is refining all our hearts
‘Cause our God is alive and nothing can keep us apart
Purify, purify like gold refined
Our God is moving, He can’t be stopped
We can make all our plans
But God’s purpose will prevail (Proverbs 19:21)
The joy of the Lord is our strength and our song
The song of the Lord is rising, so sing along
Can you feel the river rising, tribe of Judah?
It’s the river that is flowing from God’s heart
‘Cause our God is alive and nothing can keep us apart!
You can listen to the song, and more of my music at www.myspace.com/amydormanmusic
Love and blessings to you today!
It all began when my good friend and I watch Julie&Julia, and she suggested that I write a blog. That sounded like fun, so I thought I'd give it a shot.
Now, what to write about? Well, that was simple: the most important Part of my life, and the Center of it all -- Jesus. Oh yes. This is already looking good.
The title, "Like Gold Refined", came to me in song during a worship service, and I later used the line in a worship song I wrote this morning :) Essentially, this blog is intended... well, I'm not exactly sure what my intentions are. Maybe to remember all the glorious things God reveals to me, and to share those great and awesome pieces of God with whoever stumbles across this blog. I'm sensing that this blog will be more of an encouragement, a sort of "iron sharpening iron" deal. I'd love it to be a place for people to come together and share God's absolutely amazing works with each other. Community is absolutely essential in our walk with God. We were never intended to walk alone. Therefore, this blog will be going into existence as soon as I click the "Publish Post" button at the bottom of my screen. Okay.
I figure this blog will also help me work out my thoughts a little bit, as I tend to be a journal junky anyway. Writing definitely helps me process my thoughts like nothing else can, and there's something about the rhythmic clicking of the keyboard that keeps me here until everything is laid out on the table. So be prepared for bottom-of-the-heart questions, things that I wrestle with deep inside, and for revelations that have blessed me, and will hopefully bless you as well :)
Enough with the introductions, let's get to the good stuff.
Okay. So there's this Jesus fella. and OH MAN, He's so alive and present, and He is ON THE MOVE. Great things are already happening inside of us, the Spirit is moving. One of my daily devotionals, "Today is Your Best Day," illustrates the Holy Spirit as a river. Not only does the Holy Spirit provide living water, like Jesus told the Samaritan woman at the well (John 6), but it is MOVING. It is a river that does not stand still, because it is ALIVE. It moves with purpose. It moves within us to pour out on the world. A lake stands stagnant and can become infected with all sorts of... slimy things, for lack of a better description... but a river keeps things fresh EACH DAY. "His mercies begin afresh each morning" (Lamentations 3:23).
Sidenote: I have learned that there are SO MANY remarkable books in the Bible that I have often overlooked -- check out the string of minor prophets before you hit the New Testament. Solid promises to be found there!
I would go on forever about the greatness of God, but I know I'll be elaborating on this constantly throughout this blogging process :) All I have to say for now is Habakkuk 3. I will definitely be touching on what I have learned through that passage soon, but I don't want this first entry to turn people away with its length ;)
I leave you with the lyrics to my newest song, which illustrates the feeling in my heart that God is moving, like a rushing river that's ready to cut through the stonework of our hearts and society and break down walls and show us the wondrous glory of our God. OH MAN. Talk about exciting. I just can't wait to see what tomorrow brings :)
Joyful Song
The joy of the Lord is our strength and our song (Nehemiah 8:10)
The song of the Lord is rising, so sing along
Can you feel the Spirit rising, all you nations?
Can you feel the Spirit moving in your hearts?
‘Cause our God is alive and nothing can keep us apart (Romans 8:38-39)
The joy of the Lord is our strength and our song
The song of the Lord is rising, so sing along
Can you feel the fire burning, all you people?
It’s the fire that is refining all our hearts
‘Cause our God is alive and nothing can keep us apart
Purify, purify like gold refined
Our God is moving, He can’t be stopped
We can make all our plans
But God’s purpose will prevail (Proverbs 19:21)
The joy of the Lord is our strength and our song
The song of the Lord is rising, so sing along
Can you feel the river rising, tribe of Judah?
It’s the river that is flowing from God’s heart
‘Cause our God is alive and nothing can keep us apart!
You can listen to the song, and more of my music at www.myspace.com/amydormanmusic
Love and blessings to you today!
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