Love is...

Everything.

The goal.
The bottom line.
Point A, point B, and everything in between.

I've learned a lot about love in the past 24 hours. God has challenged me with a new aspect of love that I've recently been able to put into practice with my relationship with Him, but have been hesitant to apply to my relationships with others: the trust aspect.

Oh boy. Here's the thing: in difficult situations, it is hard for me to trust anyone but myself. It was quite the adventure to lay my life down before Christ and let Him take the reins -- an adventure that resulted in blessings beyond my imagination. There is nothing more rewarding in my life than trusting completely in my Savior, my Creator, my Confidant.

Silly me, I thought I was done learning about trust. I had surrendered it ALL, or at least was willing to try to surrender all my control, and that was quite the leap of faith for me. But God showed me yesterday evening that I need to trust others as well if I am to love them like I say I do.

Whoa. Uh, God, are You sure? I mean... these people are human. I can learn to trust in Your perfect, unfailing love, but how can I trust in imperfect people? As an imperfect person myself, I know that we are fully capable of injuring each other...

Sigh. As I type this, I see that this is going to be a longer process than I originally perceived. This trusting other people deal is going to take me through my past relationships, cleaning up the garbage of past friendships and relationships that have left me alone and barricaded by the cement walls of defense I built around my oversized heart.

But here's the deal -- I was MADE for love. My heart was made for it, I was created for intimacy, passion, and excitement in friendships and my future marriage. My heart was never meant to be protected behind the steel barricades I have set up all around. I almost had myself convinced that I could love people from inside my little fortress; that I could give and give and never have to risk taking from anyone. Oh no. I would be self-sufficient, feeding off of God's love alone, and then giving all I have to people in my life without asking for anything in return. Because that would be "guarding my heart", right?

Not quite. See, there's a difference between guarding my heart and forgetting how it was meant to be used. And my heart was never made for steel bars and cement cells -- it was made to run free in an open field by a bubbling stream with a waterfall at the end of it. My heart was made for beauty, and all I had given it was a small love fern in its damp prison cell.

So how do I begin trusting?

Honestly? Can't say I'm sure I know the answer to that question...
It's going to take a mental process and emotional transformation far beyond my capabilities -- it's going to take a miracle. A compilation of small, daily steps in the right direction. It's going to take trustingin the goodness of my friends' hearts, and in the value of mine. It's going to take honesty on my part to tell the people I love what I need from them. It's going to take God's grace and gentle guidance for the "learning to trust" process to become less of a task and more of a natural occurence.

So really, it's time. It's time for my heart to take full form, to burst from its protective sheath and blossom into the exotic, passionate flower that it is. It's going to take courage, and faith that all will be well. It's going to take loving myself, and a refusal to apologize for who God created me to be.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." ~1 John 4:18

I will trust in You, and I will not be afraid.