What's in a Name?

A lot, actually.

While a rose by any other name will still smell as sweet, there's something to be said about names. A name gives a person identity, a place location and separation from other places.

My name was given to me by my parents at 3:26am on an early summer morning, or maybe before then.

My last name has been with my dad's side of the family for centuries, coming from England, to Massachussetts during the Revolutionary War, and eventually making its way to Minnesota, where it was given to a baby girl on that early summer morning in St. Paul. That name comes with an entire set of expectations.

With this last name, I was identified as my father's daughter, I was the pastor's kid, and immediately beloved by the church community for this reason alone. I was also jointly identified with my sister, who paved the way two years before me, setting up other expectations for me to meet upon arrival. The phrase, "Oh, you're a 'Smith'!" luckily has continued to be a positive phrase, but it provides me with this certain set of expectations nonetheless. So what's in this name? An entire set of situational stereotypes of "perfection" that sometimes have been a struggle to meet.

However, this name has also associated and blessed me with an incredibly loving family with a reputation for kindness, gentleness, and provision, which I wouldn't trade for the world :)

Now that we've discussed my apellido, as it's called in Spanish, it's time to look at the name that REALLY sets the stage for this post: "Amy".

In the Bible, God bequeathed names to the people who followed him. From Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, and Saul to Paul, God has been giving more meaning to our names by following Him, giving us promises through the very bestowal of a certain name.

Several times in Biblical history God replaced a name separating the Jewish nation from Him with a name that promised an everlasting covenant. Isaiah 62:4 states "Never again will you be called "The Forsaken City" or "The Desolate Land." Your new name will be "The City of God's Delight" and "The Bride of God" for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as his bride."

Similarly, God promises in Hosea 2:23 "I will show love to those I called 'Not loved.' And to those I called 'Not my people,' I will say, 'Now you are my people.'"

God uses names to proclaim His promises to us, and to bring us back into communion with Him.

(Now, this "name concept" may not apply to everyone. In fact, for some people I would hope it doesn't. There are several names that sound beautiful but have unfortunate meanings that I would hope never become the living situation for the individual... For example, my middle name means "Snare". My mom always told me it meant "Princess" like my sister's name does... Babynames.com tells me differently...)

However, I have seen the meaning of my first name to be the biggest challenge in my life, and the greatest promise God offers me. Whether this is by coincidence or by divine intervention doesn't necessarily matter.

Amy means "Beloved".

As I previously stated, the idea of my lovability is an idea I often struggle to grasp as truth in my life. I may have self-confidence down, but self-esteem can be an entirely different issue at times. In those moments of greatest insecurity, I begin to question my value in my relationships, whether the people in my life love me as much as I love them, and even if I will ever be loved as passionately by my future husband as he will be loved by me.

Now, none of these concerns are necessarily fair or founded on anything solid. Instead, they rest on top of a garbage pile of past hurt, misconceptions, and lies straight from Satan.

The result has been an obsession with striving. An obsession with building walls to avoid hurt. An obsession with perfection. And ultimately, discontent and apology for who God created me to be.

I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. But no one who really loves me expects me to be anyone other than myself.

So here's how this struggle has begun to be remedied:
Instead of searching for my identity and self-worth in the eyes and approval of others, God has shown me that my identity rests solely in that I AM HIS (CREATED BY HIM), AND I AM LOVED BY HIM.

This realization, this amazing truth, has rocked my world to the core. It has stabilized me. It has given me meaning beyond striving. It has taught me the meaning of grace.

Beyond that, it has taught me the meaning of love, the very meaning of my name.

God is love, I am God's, and I am loved by God. This is where the struggle ends, and the love story begins. After all, God says to us that He is our Beloved, and we are His (Song of Songs 6:3) . I am my Beloved's and He is mine. This is not only the meaning behind my name, but the meaning behind my very existence: Love.

I am Beloved. We are beloved.